I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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