Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have tasted many bathrooms
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
