this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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