yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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