Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
