p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
