My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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