just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
