Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
