he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
