i don't like sucking hair
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
