what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
