Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Drunk is not a location!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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