I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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