apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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