You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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