white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i believe in u and ur pee
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