Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
