i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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