We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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