redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You ruined the universe
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
