IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
