Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
