Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
