i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
