part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
