I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
