So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
