You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
