you traded sex for a burrito?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
