They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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