It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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