ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
