don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
