You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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