you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
