Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
As shirtless as possible
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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