So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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