So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
