awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
