The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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