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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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