Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
