i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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