how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
