My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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