He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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