you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
