Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
