If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
