she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
